I’m Beginning To Feel A Lot More Like Faithy Everywhere I Go

Sorry it has been a couple weeks since my last post, but it has been a busy last few weeks….

I had an MRI, a pain management and 3 doctor visits.  Not to mention, I have been volunteering at my daughter’s school, hosting dinners, working and of course being a wife and mother.  

  

Are you on the edge of your seat wondering what the results of the MRI was?  Should I keep you waiting?  Nah that would be cruel; drum roll please…… I am tumor FREE.   Let the happy dance begin!!!

Even better, I am starting to feel more and more like me.  The weird thing is while Shirley was acting up I had no idea I was in such a dark place.  I knew that I was not 100%, but looking back now I kinda feel sorry for that woman who was suffering.  Yes physically it was my body, but emotionally and mentally that was not me.  The Faith I know and love is a funny go lucky smart ass and the woman with the stupid tumor was an anxious sad lady who was always in pain even though she was on a regiment of pain meds that would knock out a small village.  

Before you read on take a guess at how many pain pills I took a day.  Do you have a number in your head?  Great! Read on.

When I woke I’d go to the kitchen grab my pill box and swallow my morning dose of 3 oxycodone and 1 morphine.  When lunch time came I was so relieved that it was finally time to repeat the formula, at dinner, you guessed it another 3 oxycodone and 1 morphine and at bedtime, I toke 1 Cymbalta and an occasional sleeping pill.  I know what you are thinking she is going to get addicted (if she is not already).  Folk’, becoming an addict was/is the least of my worries and while on this cocktail it only made my pain manageable (see: Pain Medication: Are You Addicted?)  so that I could get through the day.  I was ALWAYS in pain.  ALWAYS!!!

Blah! Blah! Blah! Enough of this depressing shit as the title of this post states I am beginning to feel a lot like me again and slowly starting to get back to my life and doing the things I love, cooking, shopping, visiting with friends and family, traveling (personal and work), playing with my daughter and soon I will get my FAT ass back to the gym!

  

I still have a little ways to go to be rid of my daily pain and yes I continue to take pain meds, but a WHOLE lot less.  In fact, I no longer take morphine and dropped down to 2 oxycodone 2-3 times a day (usually 2 times).  They tell me someday I will have no pain; I hope this is true.

I wish you and yours a happy and HEALTHY Holidays Season!

xoxo,

Faith

    

Top 10 Reasons To Be Grateful

Like most people this time of the year I start reflecting on past year; and believe you me I could complain, cry and do the woes me thing but where will that get me?  Most likely my friends, family and you might begin to tune out.  Don’t get me wrong, you’re all wonderful people but let’s face it it would be more fun to walk on hot coals (or stick a hot poker in your eye) than listening to someone complain ALL the time!

I will not lie I am ready to leave 2012 in the dust! However, before I welcome 2013 with open arms I wanted to share the things I a most grateful for in 2012 and I would love it if you would leave a comment with at least one thing you are grateful for:

1.  First and foremost, I am grateful for my family and friends.  Without their support and love this past year could have been a lot worse.
2.  Health.  While the stupid tumor has been a challenge and caused a few moments in my life that I needed to be cautious I am relatively healthy as is my husband and daughter.
3. Desmoid Tumor Research Foundation.  This incredible resource provides helpful information and enables research that would not otherwise exist if it were not for this great organization.
4. Forgiveness and being forgiven.  A very dear friend and I had a falling out and we ended our 20 year relationship.  It was very hard for me to say goodbye to her but thankfully very easy for me to forgive her and I am grateful for her forgiveness and looking forward to starting new memories with her in 2013.
5. My Desmoidian community.  There are many diseases out there where folks are all alone and while this disease is rare, there is a community that I can turn to whenever I need them.
6. Being less judgmental.  This is not an easy task for me as I can be quick to judge but since going through a life changing disease I realized that life is too short to be so judgmental.   I am no saint so this is something I continue to work on every day.
7. Blog.  I am grateful for this blog and the outlet it provides as well as the relationships that have developed from it. 
8. Career.  Not only do I love what I do, I am grateful for the understanding and support of my clients and extremely grateful to my employer for their loyalty. 
9. Medical team.  I am a lucky lady to live in Cleveland, Ohio.  Yes you heard me right, I am lucky to live in Cleveland!  Cleveland has 2 world renowned hospitals and the care that I receive at University Hospital’s, Seidman Cancer Center is outstanding and hands down the best resource around.
10. FREE.  My first MRI post-surgery and I am tumor FREE!!!!!

Happy Holidays!  May you have a wonderful holiday season and a HEALTHY new year!!!

xoxo,
Faith