Warning the following post will have the F bomb and I will do lots of complaining.
If you cannot handle the reality of Desmoids then STOP! READING! RIGHT! NOW!….
The bad news: I am so FUCKING sick of hurting and being sick!!!!
The good news: radiation is over. Can I get an AMEN!
The bad news: I am burnt to a crisp. Five weeks in a microwave will do that to
you.
The good news: I traveled for work this past week.
The bad news: The trip took so much out of me that I cried
when I got there.
The good news: I loved being back in front of clients and
being with people.
The bad news: The day after radiation I got sick with a dry
hacking cough and for the last 4 FUCKING days I have not slept because of this stupid
fucking cough, and to top it off when my fucking neck hits my pillow I just
want to scream, but since I don’t sleep alone that is not an option. Instead, I grab my cough drops and head to
couch. Lucky FUCKING me, WOO HOOO!!!!!
The good news: My family and friends have been there for me/us.
They watch our daughter when I am at radiation and Brad is at work; they pick
her up from school and invite her for playdates; They take her for overnighters
and bring us meals.
The bad news: My body FUCKING aches all day long from my
treatments.
The good news: I have the best physical therapist, Lisa Martin, at Suburban Physical Therapy in Twinsburg, Ohio who knows the tricks to get me
moving again.
The bad news: I have
no energy. None! Nada! When the clock
hits 8 pm I am done, spent and ready to vacate the premises. A far cry from the fun loving party animal, hostess
with the mostest that I used to be.
The good news: I have found an outlet in this blog.
The bad news: The lotion they gave me to put on my radiation
wounds stings my open sores. FUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!
The good news: I have an understanding boss.
The bad news: Hugging is out again. My friend came over yesterday and after 3
years of not seeing one another our first instinct was to hug and my lovely
reply to her hug—OWE!
The good news: I am
taking a lot less pain meds.
The bad news: I make my mom cry because I cry. Need I say more?
The good news: I am loved!
The bad news: I have
gone through all of this and there is no guarantee that the stupid FUCKING tumor will not come back.
The good news: Right
now, I am tumor free!!!
While I have my moments of sadness, pain, depression and distress at the end of the day, I am very grateful and thankful for all the wonderful things I have today- Family, friends, a career I love, a beautiful home in a loving community and most importantly another day to enjoy all that I cherish! What are you thankful for???
I wish you all a wonderful Thanksgiving and a very happy
holiday season!!!
xoxo,
Faith
Yep, you're awesome
ReplyDeleteI have three desmoid tumors located in my leg it's been a long tiring battle for ten years now but I've also found it helpful to write .. You can check my blog out at krystleberrigan@blogspot.com I just discovered I have another tumor growing behind my knee but I haven't written about it. Am about to go through a surgery next month and receive radiation (tradition worked for my first two tumors) tough times don't last........ Tough people do.
ReplyDeleteFaith,
ReplyDeleteI came across your blog by accident and I have to tell you... you made me cry. I watched my mother battle with her desmoids my entire life and your picture above looks very similar to the scarring that she had.
She was first treated at UCLA back in the 70's and from what I was told, she was a rarity back then... literally one of the only known diagnosed cases for a non-abdominal Desmoid. Her original tumor was inthe back of her head and stretched down over her shoulder.
I just wanted to tell you to Stay Strong and to say Thank You for raising awareness!!!
All the best,
Alicia