Sorry it has been a couple weeks since my last post, but it
has been a busy last few weeks….
I had an MRI, a pain management and 3 doctor visits. Not to mention, I have been volunteering at
my daughter’s school, hosting dinners, working and of course being a wife and
mother.
Are you on the edge of your seat wondering what the results
of the MRI was? Should I keep you
waiting? Nah that would be cruel; drum
roll please…… I am tumor FREE. Let the
happy dance begin!!!
Even better, I am starting to feel more and more like
me. The weird thing is while Shirley was
acting up I had no idea I was in such a dark place. I knew that I was not 100%, but looking back
now I kinda feel sorry for that woman who was suffering. Yes physically it was my body, but
emotionally and mentally that was not me.
The Faith I know and love is a funny go lucky smart ass and the woman
with the stupid tumor was an anxious sad lady who was always in pain even
though she was on a regiment of pain meds that would knock out a small village.
Before you read on take a guess at how many pain pills I
took a day. Do you have a number in your
head? Great! Read on.
When I woke I’d go to the kitchen grab my pill box and swallow
my morning dose of 3 oxycodone and 1 morphine.
When lunch time came I was so relieved that it was finally time to repeat
the formula, at dinner, you guessed it another 3 oxycodone and 1 morphine and
at bedtime, I toke 1 Cymbalta and an occasional sleeping pill. I know what you are thinking she is going to
get addicted (if she is not already). Folk’,
becoming an addict was/is the least of my worries and while on this cocktail it
only made my pain manageable (see: Pain Medication: Are You Addicted?) so that I could get through the day. I was ALWAYS in pain. ALWAYS!!!
Blah! Blah! Blah! Enough of this depressing shit as the
title of this post states I am beginning to feel a lot like me again and slowly
starting to get back to my life and doing the things I love, cooking, shopping,
visiting with friends and family, traveling (personal and work), playing with
my daughter and soon I will get my FAT ass back to the gym!
I still have a little ways to go to be rid of my daily pain
and yes I continue to take pain meds, but a WHOLE lot less. In fact, I no longer take morphine and dropped
down to 2 oxycodone 2-3 times a day (usually 2 times). They tell me someday I will have no pain; I
hope this is true.
I wish you and yours a happy and HEALTHY Holidays Season!
xoxo,
Faith
Do you want honesty? I'm not sure the pain ever goes away completely. I deal with some form of pain or fear everyday. I will say that your ability to deal with the pain does get better and that the pain isn't as bad as it is shortly after surgery. My desmoid was removed in 2003. Mine was in my abdomen wall and has left me with mesh that at one point had to be repaired, so I started the healing process all over again. I feel for you. I know things are hard, but yeah, they do get better. My thoughts are with you!
ReplyDeleteHi Cameron, I do not seem to have your personal email. Feel free to shoot me an email at faithzdalton@gmail.com. Thanks.
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