Saturday, December 15, 2012

I’m Beginning To Feel A Lot More Like Faithy Everywhere I Go


Sorry it has been a couple weeks since my last post, but it has been a busy last few weeks….

I had an MRI, a pain management and 3 doctor visits.  Not to mention, I have been volunteering at my daughter’s school, hosting dinners, working and of course being a wife and mother.  
  
Are you on the edge of your seat wondering what the results of the MRI was?  Should I keep you waiting?  Nah that would be cruel; drum roll please…… I am tumor FREE.   Let the happy dance begin!!!

Even better, I am starting to feel more and more like me.  The weird thing is while Shirley was acting up I had no idea I was in such a dark place.  I knew that I was not 100%, but looking back now I kinda feel sorry for that woman who was suffering.  Yes physically it was my body, but emotionally and mentally that was not me.  The Faith I know and love is a funny go lucky smart ass and the woman with the stupid tumor was an anxious sad lady who was always in pain even though she was on a regiment of pain meds that would knock out a small village.  

Before you read on take a guess at how many pain pills I took a day.  Do you have a number in your head?  Great! Read on.

When I woke I’d go to the kitchen grab my pill box and swallow my morning dose of 3 oxycodone and 1 morphine.  When lunch time came I was so relieved that it was finally time to repeat the formula, at dinner, you guessed it another 3 oxycodone and 1 morphine and at bedtime, I toke 1 Cymbalta and an occasional sleeping pill.  I know what you are thinking she is going to get addicted (if she is not already).  Folk’, becoming an addict was/is the least of my worries and while on this cocktail it only made my pain manageable (see: Pain Medication: Are You Addicted? so that I could get through the day.  I was ALWAYS in pain.  ALWAYS!!!

Blah! Blah! Blah! Enough of this depressing shit as the title of this post states I am beginning to feel a lot like me again and slowly starting to get back to my life and doing the things I love, cooking, shopping, visiting with friends and family, traveling (personal and work), playing with my daughter and soon I will get my FAT ass back to the gym!
  
I still have a little ways to go to be rid of my daily pain and yes I continue to take pain meds, but a WHOLE lot less.  In fact, I no longer take morphine and dropped down to 2 oxycodone 2-3 times a day (usually 2 times).  They tell me someday I will have no pain; I hope this is true.

I wish you and yours a happy and HEALTHY Holidays Season!



xoxo,
Faith
    

2 comments:

  1. Do you want honesty? I'm not sure the pain ever goes away completely. I deal with some form of pain or fear everyday. I will say that your ability to deal with the pain does get better and that the pain isn't as bad as it is shortly after surgery. My desmoid was removed in 2003. Mine was in my abdomen wall and has left me with mesh that at one point had to be repaired, so I started the healing process all over again. I feel for you. I know things are hard, but yeah, they do get better. My thoughts are with you!

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  2. Hi Cameron, I do not seem to have your personal email. Feel free to shoot me an email at faithzdalton@gmail.com. Thanks.

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